Tuesday, December 4, 2012

FACING FEARS:


Strength is relative.  New things are often scary, especially when they're not (yet) certain.  Going back to school, finding a house to call a home, new love, new puppies.  Okay, new puppies might not be that scary, but new love sure as hell is.  The idea of opening yourself up to a possible heart break, once again.

At some point you have to face your fears.

In June I met Jonathan at a punk show at this local dive bar in Riverside.  The instant attraction was both awesome & scary as shit.  It's not like I haven't been here & there in relationships; should I try again?  Of course I should, right?  Why the hell not, when there's the possibility of something great, something amazing?  So, I went for it, & so far - it's worked.  I'm pretty damn sure that it'll stay this way, too.  

School - man, what can I say about school?  Education is important to me.  Even if my BIG DREAM doesn't require schooling of any sorts, it definitely doesn't hurt it, either.  Also, just the idea of learning is one of my favorites.  Give me all of the knowledge!  But then there's that whole "pick a major & stick to it" thing. Wow, is this really as hard for me as relationships are?  Yep, I guess I might just be the most indecisive person on this earth.  Dabble, much?  Last Fall, I went for it.  Not knowing exactly what I'd be majoring in or how long it'd take me to get to the majors courses, I set out for at least getting my transfer credits so that I can get to a University once the time comes.  & it'll be here soon enough.  & I know exactly what it is I'm supposed to do.  I'm supposed to save the world, duh.  So, we'll see how this goes.  

The point is, I'm doing it.  I'm back at school, trying to get the best grades I can.  I'm in a very awesome relationship, putting all I can into making it a rad adventure & a pure love story.  & with that, there's the issue of living ... together.

Yes, we have puppies that I'd say are "ours."  Not just mine, & just his - these two pups are brothers, okay?!  When they're together, they're at their best.  & by best, I mean ridiculously happy, playful, & down right tiring.  They deserve to live together.  & in all the same ways listed before, so do we (Jonathan & I).  Now, things might happen, & that "might" is scarier than all hell.  But there is no reason, I'd say no excuse, for me to hold back.  To not get excited about things because of the possibility of them not working out.  If there's one thing I know, it's this:  everything will work out for the best, the way it should be.  & if that isn't reason enough to just jump right into life, I don't know what is.

Be brave.  Be bold.  Be everything you've ever wanted to be.  Fail.  Try again.  Whatever you do, go for your dreams (even the BIG DREAM), & never ever give up!  

2 comments:

  1. What a fantastic post! Thanks for sharing your experiences, encouragement, and most of all reminding me/us to be brave.

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    1. Thank you for that lovely comment! I guess I write this to remind myself of these things, too. =)

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